Sunday, December 27, 2009

A well needed rest

I always disliked snow, but now I truly hate it. There are lots of people that love the snow, but those people are idiots. They enjoy snow because to them, it's a opportunity for play. Those people probably live in an apartment and someone else shovels the snow for them. If you own a house, you are your own peon. The blizzard that hit DC was the worst in recent memory.

Sunday, December 6, 2009


Blech! So the lab results came back and it turns out that I had a staph infection in my knee. Although it was really painful (and gross when they cut it open to get the nasty stuff out), I guess I should be happy because I've heard some horror stories about staph infections (including death). Plus, in an odd way, I feel like this makes me a real jiu jitsu player. I don't think I would consider

Wednesday, November 25, 2009


I won't post a picture of my knee because you might be eating, but I've been having a knee...issue. It was bothering me during jiu jitsu class, but it was no worse than any of the other bangs and bruises that I've suffered at the hands of that cruel samurai art. It got progressively worse though and by midnight I could no longer walk up the stairs. I thought I'd rest it a couple of days, but

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Getting there

The Brazilian consulate in DC is like a metaphor for third world. It's hot, crowded, incompetent and unfair. There is a bulletproof glass partition separating the great unwashed from the bureaucrats and surly people giving you confusing and sometimes contradictory information. When I went, it was the middle of summer and there was no air conditioning. air conditioning for the

Monday, November 2, 2009

Some cultural differences between Brazilians and Gringos.

I have a backlog of Brazil posts to do, but I'll start off with a small one ("that's what SHE said!"). One of the most glaring differences between Brazilians and Americans (besides the language and weight) is the cultural attitudes, especially about sex. In the US, it's very common for people in a bar or club to drunkenly make out, then never see each other again. In Brazil, drunken anonymous

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Art Show For Charity

Hey All...a few of my artist friends are doing an art show for charity at Busyboys and Poets on November 11th. Object will also be playing there for free. Please check it out, buy some art and support a worthwhile charity.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Free money?

I saw this at the place I do meditation sometimes in Bethesda. Apparently, someone dropped some money and the person who found it (rather than keeping it) put it on the bulletin board announcing where they found it so the owner could presumably reclaim it. Since money naturally draws people's attention, I saw dozens of people look at the board and read the sign as they walked by. Anyone could

Thursday, August 20, 2009

blad blogger

I've been posting so infrequently that I actually forgot my password. Oh well. I'm having a blast down in Rio and I should have some pics and stories for when I get back. I haven't been in a bloggy mood lately, but I'm not willing to let this thing die of neglect. When it's time to go, I will strangle it with my bare hands or turn it over to someone from the Bush white house so they can kill

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Reality TV

On my day off when I was doing some last minute embassy/visa stuff for my upcoming trip to Rio (don't hate the playa, hate the game , bitchez), I was in a local coffee shop and I saw a TV crew filiming an HGTV show (Real Estate Intervention).I chatted briefly with the host (GF should stop reading this now) who is even hotter in person than she is on TV. She was very nice and gave me the contact

Friday, June 26, 2009

Stop with the Michael Jackson Stories already

Alright, alright already. The guy is dead and he hasn't had a hit record in 20 years, why do we need to keep talking about him when we are fighting two wars and a recession? His music sucked back then, and it hasn't gotten any better, so why is it impossible to turn on the radio and hear anything besides that crappy pop from the 80s? My iPod is working overtime since I'm avoiding the radio for

Thursday, June 25, 2009

sometimes the mountain comes to mohammed

Well, I finally got rid of that huge pile of debris in my driveway. After dealing with the junk removal guy who flaked on me, and the one who left a flier, but wouldn't return my phonecall (which sorta defeats the purpose of putting a flier on my door, but I digress), I was sitting home on monday, which I happened to have off. I heard a knock on the door, and an old, wiry, black man was there

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

I am fine...and so am I

Why do people keep asking me if I'm okay? I was not on the metro train that crashed yesterday. 1) I wasn't even at work yesterday; 2) even if was on the train, what would I be doing in Takoma Park(what would anyone be doing in Takoma, besides buying patchoulli or recycling?); and 3) there's millions of people in the DC area...calling to see if I was one of the two people who died is like

Friday, June 19, 2009

Doctor Shmoctor!

Well, after another doctor visit and X-ray, it turns out that my finger is still broken. This guy was an orthopedic doctor with signed thank you jerseys from Mia Hamm and some other athletes, so he supposedly knows what he's doing. Well, he'll be getting no signed gi from me. Partly because those things are expensive, but also because I don't like what he told me. Four more weeks of no training?

Thursday, June 11, 2009

I don't get it..

I'm not a huge fan of unions. It doesn't look like they did GM, Ford or Chrylser a whole lot of good. However, I can understand how it's human nature to want to be paid more for doing the same thing you would normally be doing.I also get the concept of picket lines. The goal is to annoy people and whine and stomp your feet like a child until someone gets frustrated enough to just give in to your

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Weekend 'Fun'

They say bad things come in threes. Anyone who doubts this should count the number of terms a Bush has been in the White House, or the number of exes I have name Catherine. Well, this weekend I lost my GF among the 50,000+ people at the Race for the Cure, at the national mall. Then, I got a flat tire, and as I was leaving the tire repair place...I got into a car accident. I took the rest of

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Finishing touches.

Well, after two years of awkwardly opening and closing the doors on my kitchen cabinets, I decided on the right handle and put them on. It didn't really take me two years to decide on the handles, I just had more important things going on in my life and kitchen door handles were pretty low on the queue. These were installed when my Dad visited recently. They look great because we used a "jig",

Monday, June 1, 2009


I broke my middle finger. The Xray says it's not a small break either. I have a splint on it, so I can give the middle finger to everyone with impunity, which is good, but it hurts like hell, which is bad. They gave me vicodin, which is VERY good (especially with beer), but I only take it at home because it makes me very loopy and that's not so good at work or when I'm driving.I broke it in

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Free Plug

A friend of mine recently temporarilly gave up the rat race to live for a while in Brazil. You can read about his exploits (including getting items stolen from him on the beach, and accidentally crashing a party of strippers and hookers) on his blog HERE.

Monday, May 18, 2009

No Good Deed...

I donated a bunch of stuff to Community Forklift, a non-profit that takes home building stuff and sells it, using the money for charity. Sort of like the Home Depot meets the Salvation Army. I figured, (1)I could probably use the tax deduction next year, (2) I could definitely use the space, and (3) it's a lot less stressful than trying to sell it on Craigslist and dealing with the flakes

Friday, May 15, 2009

More Pics

I wish I had a pic of the old sliding door with iron security bars that was in the kitchen before, but I forgot to take a picture of the craptasticness before it was taken out. This door was REALLY difficult to install because when the door was taken out, we found out that the wood on the bottom was rotted and the previous door (like the window in the kitchen) had no header installed. After

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

I thought we were in a recession?

So the guy who was supposed to come on monday to clean out the debris/trash in my driveway flaked on me. I called and left a message, but no reply. I feel like the ugly chick with mono who gets stood up for the prom and has to stay home and watch American Idol with her mom and annoying little brother. Okay, maybe not like that, but you get the picture.They came about a year or two ago and

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

New Stairs!

So the hardwood floors upstairs and downstairs looked nice, but the stairs that connected them looked like crap. I thought about refinishing the stairs, but decided on having them done over, which cost a lot more money, but ended up looking nicer, I think.Before Pic Number 1: this is the transition from upstairs to the stairs.Here's what the stairs looked liked from downstairs. There's a fine

Sunday, May 10, 2009

What Progress Looks Like

There's been a lot of progress going on at my place over the last few weeks. I'll post some pics of the finished projects soon, but in the meantime, I'll show you the debris that was created in the process. This is what the driveway in the back of the ninja fortress looks like (for now). Someone will be coming on Monday to get rid of it all, but in the meantime the feral cats in my alley will

Friday, April 24, 2009


I love Sci-Fi as much as Britney Spears loves dysfunctional relationships. This is no secret. The Girlfriend scored some free tickets to the premier of the new Star Trek Movie. Free tickets to a movie that I would wait in a looooong line for and pay lots of money to see. My inner-geek has an erection right now. The best part is that she got the tix for me, because she's not a huge sci-fi fan

Thursday, April 23, 2009

How misunderstandings happen

So, somehow I ended up in Massachusetts and was running some errands, when I had a little misunderstanding with the dry cleaners and convenience store. What? Like you would run your errands without your katana in a state with such a high concentration of pirates? We all know about the pirate/ninja rivalry. 'Nuff said.

Friday, April 17, 2009

La Plus Ca Change, La plus la meme chose.

I was wondering why I had more money in my checking account than usual, and I realized it's because I haven't been to Home Depot in a couple of months. I stopped by a couple of days ago, and after buying nothing more than a few feet of crown moulding and baseboard, I was $400 poorer. I would've been a lot poorer if their staff had been less incompetent. I wanted to buy a couple of windows and

Friday, April 10, 2009

Are things looking up?

I watch TV and listen to the news just like everybody else, and like everybody else I know about how bad things are supposed to be right now in the economy. Derivatives are now a dirty word so I've even heard, anecdotally, about how some law firms (huge international ones) are hurting and they are laying off associates.And yet, this week I got calls from TWO headhunters about positions for

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Zombie Walking

Since I've been sick for the past month with something that I can't seem to shake, I finally broke down Monday, suspended my fear of doctors and went to one to find out what's wrong. It's gotten so bad that lately I've been winded when I climb 3 flights of stairs. The verdict? I have "Walking Pneumonia". (or maybe it was regular pneumonia, but my super powerful immune system converted it

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

A Tale of Two (Key Lime) Pies.

One of the few things that I can't do (besides my taxes or sitting through and episode of Grey's Anatomy without vomitting) is bake. I cook really well on the burners, but the oven is like a mysterious dragon vagina that frightens and confuses me. Still, I love a challenge (and key lime pie) so I set out to bake one with the girlfriend so that we could relive the wonderful experience we had in

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Free Plug: Eatonville and Art

There's a new restaurant going up on 14Th and V Street. A few artists are going to each put up a mural there to commemorate Zora Neale Hurston (a Harlem writer). A friend of mine is doing one of the murals. You can get more info on the event at Prince of Petworth's blog.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

The New First Lady

As we were watching the news, I saw Michelle Obama on the TV talking to a bunch of kids in the White House. I turned to the GF and said this verbatim: "You know....unlike Lara Bush, whenever I see the new first lady on TV I don't want to punch her in the face." I know it's just a photo op, but whenever I would see Lara Bush talking to a bunch of kids (and reminding us for the thousandth time

Thursday, February 12, 2009

5 questions Meme: Disaffected Scanner Jockey Edition

1. What inspired you to start blogging?I think I started reading some house blogs and relating to the headaches the people were going through and I thought "I could do that" and decided to start writing stuff down and taking pictures of it. After I started slacking with the home improvements, I filled in the slack with random crap about ninjas, libertarian rants and my dysfunctional family (which

Friday, February 6, 2009

House Updates

In hindsight, opening the door of the van blocking my driveway so that the light would go on and kill his battery was not the greatest idea since the van was now disabled and sat in my driveway for an additional couple of days. If you're wondering why I just don't have it towed--that would make sense in any city besides DC. In DC, you can't just tow someone who is blocking your driveway (because

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Dear Van In My Driveway

Dear Van Parked in My Driveway:I know you have Virginia plates, but things work differently here in DC. See, here, you can't park in someone's driveway like an a-hole just because you don't want to leave your car on the street even though I counted two empty spaces in front of my house. You see, it's a shared alleyway, which means that everyone can drive up and down it, but no one can park there,

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

ice capades.

When I was a kid, snow was fun. I miss that. Now snow means having to wake up at 6 am to shovel my steps and the front of my house. I have a rowhouse, so it's not a HUGE deal, but it's annoying nonetheless. I guess what's so annoying is how pointless it all is. I don't have a lot of free time, but I have to get up early and spend time I would've spent doing something else, just to get my

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Actual Recent Conversations with the Girlfriend

[after I drove over a huge pothole and almost killed my car]Her: the way, watch out for that'shuge.Me: You could've mentioned that before I ran over it. You couldbreak an axle on that thing.Her: Or you could just drive around it?[discussion about proper names of body parts]Her: Stop saying "Chocolate Starfish" and "Turd cutter." Thoseare stupid names for someone's butt.Me:

Friday, January 23, 2009

inauguration over...go home, tourists

I never doubted that we would one day have a black president, but I always assumed the first black president would be a republican. See, I figured that since the current crop of republicans will do anything to win *cough* sarah palin *cough**cough*, I just figured that they would pick someone who was black but who stood for all the things that black folks find repugnant, like this guy, and then

Friday, January 16, 2009

Your Butt Called me again

When I switched from a flip phone to one with the buttons on the face, a curious thing happened. I started calling my girlfriend a lot accident. You see, theoretically the phone locks up and you have you to hit a button to unlock it, which is supposed to prevent you from calling people with your butt when you sit down. Unfortunately, on my phone, the button you hit to unlock it is

Friday, January 9, 2009

Did I Break My toe?

I've been limping since monday. The toe next to my pinky toe hurts...a lot. I tried to do a takedown on someone in class, but instead of throwing him onto the mat, I threw him onto my foot. Luckilly, it only really hurts when I'm walking...or standing...or wearing shoes. I've been trying not to put weight on it, but I can't drive to work everyday, so going to the metro and back is killing